There were 24,703 murders in the United States in 1991, which equates to one murder every 21 minutes {1}. Death of a loved one by violence is painful, unexpected and often senseless. As in all types of crises, survivors experience their loss in a variety of ways, but violent death always produces deep and bitter grief. Nothing could ever prepare a survivor for the day they find out that their loved one has been murdered. Death of a young person is always a shock because young people are supposed to grow old. The murder of an elderly person is always a shock because older people should die of natural causes, not at the hands of a violent criminal.

The cruelty of the act of murder compounds the sense of sorrow and loss for the survivor, and these feelings are exacerbated by the acute feelings of injustice, distrust and helplessness.

Survivors of homicide victims is a phrase used to describe those individuals who had special ties of kinship with the person murdered, and who were therefore victimized not only by the loss of someone close but also by the horrific circumstances of that untimely death. Survivors are usually thought of as family members or close friends, but at times, the term may include people with seemingly more distant relationship relationships such as neighbors, schoolmates, and members of the community at large {2}.
 
 

The common response to any extraordinary trauma is crisis. The long-term effect of the crisis is influenced by a number of objective and subjective factors, such as:

The intensity of the event.

The suddenness of the event.

Whether the event was anticipated.

The ability to understand the event.

The state of mind prior to the event.

[Adapted from: The Center for Crime Victims and Survivors, Inc., Clearwater, Florida]

I. Shock and Numbness

Resistance to stimuli in order to protect ego.

Judgment-making is difficult; limited concentration.

Functioning impeded ("robot" or "zombie").

Emotional outbursts.

Stunned feelings.

Very sensitive to stimuli (note what is said, done, not said, not done by others).

May hear or see others whom mourner thinks is deceased loved one.

Intense anger or guilt.

Ambiguous or unsure of self.

Begins testing of reality.

3. Disorientation and Disorganization

Disorganized.

Inability to concentrate.

Guilt.

Weight loss or gain (more than ten pounds).

Piercing awareness of reality:

Knows deceased loved one will not return.

Time of turning to physicians with physical manifestation of psychosomatic illnesses.

Experience temptation to think of mourning as a disease.

Unsure of self; desire to flee from the reality that death of loved one occurred.

Sense of release or no longer obsessed by loss.

Renewed energy.

Can problem-solve and make decisions based on options.

Return to sleeping and eating habits of pre-morbid period.

All of these phases may peak - on anniversary dates, birthdays, graduations or other significant dates in the family system. May experience that phases can overlap. Grief reaction is unique to the individual - each person experiences it a little differently and certainly not always in the order listed above.
 
 

For many survivors, the strongest point of focus for their feelings is over the loss, and with this normal focal point of nearly all grieving, the normal mix of grieving emotions, including a guilt-inducing sense of anger at the person who died, is present. For those who cannot imagine life without that loved one, ideas of suicide are common. For most survivors, the distress attributable to the murder itself is compounded by a number of other stressors:

Method of death notification - Often insensitive or incomplete because of the need of law enforcement to get on with the investigation.

Impact on other life changes - There may already be other problems among survivors, such as, divorce, unemployment, and illness, which become intensified.

Unwanted and untimely demands -- Such things as, identification of the body, funeral arrangements, medical or ambulance bills, notification of family and friends, etc.

Necessary role changes - Perhaps the murdered loved one handled all the finances and business of the home, or the child rearing. Perhaps a son now has to become "the man of the house."

Financial stress - This is especially true when the victim was the sole or primary source of income. Medical and funeral expenses become a factor as well.

Misguided compassion - Those who turn to religion often hear such statements as, "It was God's will," "Your loved one is better off in Heaven," - etc. These often alienate the survivor not only from the person speaking but from their faith. Some survivors report that they are advised to "forgive the murderer" or "pray for his redemption. - Such advice is not only infuriating but painful to hear {3}.

There are a number of ways in which a victim assistance program can provide support and services to the survivors of homicide victims. The following are just some of the recommendations of what type of services should be offered to these victims:

Be as knowledgeable as possible about the case before you speak to the family. The family will ask you questions, if you can answer from your knowledge of the case, then do. If you do not know the answer, be honest and tell them that you do not know but you will try and find out as soon as possible and Jet them know.

Maintain consistent contact with the family. If you do say you are going to call at a certain time or on a certain day, then do that.

Keep the family informed of all court proceedings through written and telephone contact. Explain each of the court proceedings thoroughly; you may have to do this more than once. Everything you tell the family may not be assimilated at once. If there is a continuance or postponement of a court date, inform them with as much advance knowledge as you can.

Explain your function as clearly as possible. Follow up your initial contact with a letter that reiterates what you have told them about the court proceedings. Make sure that you include bow and when they can reach you - do not assume they will know your office hours. If there is a number that can be called 24 hours, such as a crisis line or support group number, it may be helpful to include that.

Familiarize yourself with the grief responses following a homicide. Be prepared for the range of emotions and responses you may encounter from family members and significant others. Be prepared to listen, and to be. empathetic without being sympathetic. Do not say, "I understand" - when you do not. However, do tell survivors that you are sorry the murder happened and that it is horrible that someone killed their loved one.

Do not be judgmental about their reactions at any time.

The family may need to talk about the deceased with you. They may need to show you pictures of the deceased, tell you stories, and show you some personal effects of the deceased. Take the time to look at the pictures and listen to the stories. It is important that the family know that there is someone in the system that wants to listen, takes time and is comfortable with their pain and love for the deceased. When speaking of the deceased with the family, or anyone in the criminal justice system. Refer to him/her by their name.

Anticipate that the feelings of the family may change over the course of time and throughout the court proceedings. Initial shock may give way to anger. Initial acceptance may turn into hostility, and anger may be directed at you, particularly as you serve as their link with the court system.

Make sure that the family has the opportunity to meet with the prosecutor handling the case. The prosecutor may not think of this as important, as the family members may not be actual witnesses in the case, but it is very important to the family and their satisfaction with the system. Arrange this meeting at a time convenient with the family. Accompany the prosecutor at all meetings.

Discuss the case with the prosecutor prior to the meeting. Make sure that he/she is prepared to answer any questions the family may have.

Be fully acquainted with the community resources available for survivors of homicide, especially support groups, for appropriate referrals.

Assist the survivors with completing application to the State Crime Victim Compensation Fund for funeral bill reimbursement, etc.

Additional support may be needed around anniversary days or other significant days. Call the survivors on these days or send a note acknowledging that you are thinking of them.

{1} Federal Bureau of Investigation. (1992). Crime in the United States, 1991. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Justice, p.1.

{2} National Organization for Victim Assistance. (October 1985). Survivors of Homicide Victims. NOVA Network Information Bulletin. Washington, DC: Author, p.1.

{3} Delaplane, David. (1988). Victim Assistance: A Manual. Sacramento, CA: The Spiritual Dimension in Victim Services, p.143.